Our Gemara and Mishna on Amud Beis tells us that the superfluous pairs of witnesses for the new moon were still asked questions about what they observed in order that they not feel unappreciated, and they came for no reason. The Gemara uses the phrase כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יֵצְאוּ בְּפַחֵי נֶפֶשׁ, that the witnesses should not leave disappointed.

How do we translate פחי נפש? From the context of several Gemaras, for example Shabbos 127b and Avodah Zara 2b, it would seem to mean dejected and disappointed. The former Gemara involved God refusing the claims and excuses of the Nations of the earth during Messianic times, and the latter involved a worker who was expecting payment, but went home empty-handed. These seem to be the kinds of the feeling you get when you were hoping for a certain result and did not get it, but it also has an interpersonal feel to it, as in feeling rejected as well.

Notably Rashi in Gemara Shabbos (ibid) translates it in Hebrew as דאבון נפש. This is not an accident as the verse in Devarim (28:65) uses the term דאבון נפש to describe the anguish the Jews will experience in the future if they do not follow the Torah, and indeed Onkelos translates it as פחי נפש.  This sheds deeper light on the meaning of the verse. It is not merely anguish, but failure and dejection by feeling abandoned by God.

The etymology of the word פחי נפש would seem to be from either פחות which means low, or פח which is to blow and radiate heat like coals, as in the Biblical Hebrew ויפח באפיו נשמת חיים God blowing the spirit of life into Adam. If so, it means either to feel low, or perhaps related to sighing, or pursing one’s lips and blowing a resentful expression.

In any case, the lesson from this Gemara is to be careful to avoid letting a person feel dejected and futile, at least in regard to areas of mitzvos and avodah. When I was studying under a certain Rabbi to learn an area of psak, he advised against answering certain questions too quickly. He said, “The person might feel foolish or that he asked a too simple question. Give him a sense that it was a good question, and you needed to delve a bit before you found the answer.”

My father ZT’L, a master mechanech and educator, loathed when teachers would grade tests with red pens or markers, he would protest, “The kid feels bad enough, is it necessary to rub it in with red ink?” When teaching a class, there was no such thing as a wrong answer, even when the child was wrong. He would say, ״That’s an interesting idea, tell me more how you think it answers the question?” Or, if it was absolutely, factually incorrect, such as Yaakov was at the Akeidah, he would say, “Well, that would have been a very interesting story if Yaakov Avinu was at the Akeida. Hmmm. According to the Chumash though, it was someone else…” Now such statements can’t be fake. You have to really mean them in order to be successful, and you cannot do that unless you have genuine respect for the student.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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